50, maybe 60 years from now, old-timers like yours truly will retell the tales of the Gods that walked the sporting world in our day. Of Michael Schumacher winning 7 (That’s right, SEVEN) Formula 1 titles. OR Lance Armstrong conquering testicular cancer to win the Tour De France (there’s that number again), SEVEN consecutive times.  Of the time when Sachin Tendulkar hit the winning runs against England while chasing down 387, a month after the terrorist attacks on Mumbai. Of Zinedine Zidane, and his silken skills with a football at his feet. Or recall, with unabashed joy, Eden Gardens 2001, the most incredible Indian cricket win against a rampaging Australian side. “You should’ve been there” , we’ll tell them, “when Gods walked the earth”. And talk will turn, inevitably, to tales of one Roger Federer and his exploits. This then, is the Gospel according to (Rajiv) Mathew.

“Were you there, old man …. “, they’ll ask me, in hushed tones, almost bordering on reverence for the legend, “when He won his 5th consecutive Wimbledon ?“. “Where were you when he sank to his knees after capturing the 1st of several French Open crowns, for the 1st time in his career ?“. Or “Were you there, when he won his 6th US Open in 2010“. To that last question, I still hold out hope (as I sit here writing this) of being able to reply in the affirmative.

Entire dictionaries and the adjectives contained therein were laid bare, by pundits, laymen, coaches, sports commentators and followers worldwide, in the adulation of ONE MAN. Adjectives no longer adequately described it. Superlatives soon became passé, even they didn’t have in them, the depth to capture the magnitude of the moment, the ability of the man. Records fell by the wayside. Sample this. By the time he was 28 he had:

• 23 CONSECUTIVE GRAND SLAM SEMI-FINALS —- NEXT HIGHEST ? 11
• 18 OF LAST 19  GRAND SLAM FINALS
• 16 MAJOR TITLES (16 out of 26) —— NEXT HIGHEST ? 14 (out of 45), courtesy Pistol Pete
  
• 5 CONSECUTIVE MAJORS AT US OPEN + WIMBLEDON
• BECOME ONLY PLAYER IN HISTORY TO WIN 3 SLAMS IN A CALENDAR YEAR, 3 DIFFERENT TIMES.
• WON 62 CAREER ATP TITLES
  

Sure, there were the occasional upstarts, the challengers, mere mortal pretenders, who dreamt and believed they had what it took to challenge the undisputed king. Rafael Nadal, Novak Djokovic, Jo-Wilfred Tsonga, Andy Murray, Andy Roddick. They all came and went, laid waste by the mastery and fluid grace of  HIS game. The list of  pretenders is possibly longer than even a senile old man like me can remember in its entirety. And sure enough, they did occasionally win. That’s the beauty of this piece of history, because it showed he could be beaten. If not, then this would qualify as an old man telling you a scarcely credible fairy tale of a racquet wielding automaton. No, he DID lose, he did shed copious tears and it was in those losses that the collective reverence of a worldwide audience, grew and far surpassed all believable numbers, for through the tears he shed, the world realized how much the game itself meant to him. But after the tears came the pain, as his opponents would soon realize. He wasted little time in going right back and drawing up the blueprints, worked harder, and embarrassing, nay annihilating those who dared beat him by far more embarrassing (and depressing, for them) scorelines in subsequent encounters.

Champions often times play the modesty card too often for their own good. They are self-deprecating so as not to appear arrogant, or ahead of themselves. Roger Federer, unsurprisingly, was completely different. He knew he had the game, he had the scarcely believable shot-making capabilities, the incredible finesse and mastery of a surgeon with scalpel in hand, and was never shy to let the world know. Opponents got on court to play him, but the game had been won and lost in the moments before they stepped on court. No matter their ability, from the powerful frame and boisterous game of Nadal, to the booming serve of Roddick, to the jesters like Djokovic, they inevitably ran into a brick wall, that shattered wills, and (in Nadal’s case) knees as well. Starting with his debut, he played all 45 majors from 2000 to 2010, a testament to his longevity and the numerous hours of practice and hard grind, while opponents fell by the wayside, injured and broken.

“For 119 years since the game began …….“  i will conclude,  “…… Tennis Gods ruled their respective era. Then there was Federer. The Gods haven’t looked as good since.“

THEY CAME, THEY SAW, HE CONQUERED.

Roger Federer (1999 – )

Once again, you’ve outdone yourself; like Sarah Palin making a real effort to pronounce nuclear (Sorry Sarah, it AINT nyu-cu-ler), or Michael Jackson trying all his life to look white, or Kanye West making a “jackass” of himself (President’s words, NOT mine). Having personally been witness to the wonders of wishing, I wonder why we haven’t yet WISHED that the war in Iraq and Afghanistan were over sooner. Or why I didn’t wish sooner that the numbskulls over at Goldman Sachs would vaporize before they could summon the gall to ask for yet another “stimulus package”. Why hasn’t Michael Moore wished that he would lose all that lard under his arms and stomach, so people would take him and his documentaries a trifle more seriously. Maybe I didn’t WISH hard enough when I asked Santa Claus to bring me that BMW for Christmas. If only I had wished and dreamed out loud, maybe the Nobel committe might have sent it over for my birthday atleast. Aaaarghhhhh …. hard work is so overrated.

Almost makes me wonder why Susan Boyle didn’t get the Nobel Peace Prize. After all, she too “dreamed a dream …. in time gone by”. Or why, Michael Jackson, moonwalking in his grave, crotch grabbing and all, going “Was that all I had to do …. DREAM ?”, didn’t get the honor. He had a good case too, having famously said “We are the world, We are the children”, and then proceeding to share his life (and his bed) with children. Or why Shah Rukh Khan did not even get nominated for this year’s honor, despite having to bear the ignominy of being asked to step through a security check at a US airport, on his way to New York (?) for an event to promote his latest film, on racial profiling in US airports. After all that humiliation, he was the epitome of patience, love and understanding, as he walked away from it all, unscarred emotionally. What grace, what poise, and what an ambassador for world peace.

Lets presume, giving the benefit of doubt to you, the ESTEEMED voting committee, that the above candidates did NOT meet the qualifying guidelines for this years peace prize. The following were possibly the shortlist for the “prestigious” award this time around. Lets listen in on the discussion to figure out how you arrived at this deeply insightful choice, shall we ?

NOBEL COMMITTEE (NC): “What have you DONE to make the world a better place”

DALAI LAMA (DL) : I’ve been involved, all through my life in supporting the freedom movement in Tibet. I’ve worked tirelessly to ensure that people get their rights wherever they live, from whatever race or nationality. I’ve spent most of my life working to increase dialogue between faiths and denominaions, exploring ways and means to deal with the discord among them.

MICHAEL JACKSON (MJ) : (Grabbing crotch n squeezing tight) ………..OWWWWW !! I mean, …………. In my lifetime, I tried to heal the world, to make it a better place, for YOU and for ME, and the entire human race.I even brought people together through music. Oh yeah, I love children too.

BARACK OBAMA (O) : Let me begin by saying ……. Yes we Can. I DREAMT of world peace, and eliminating the nuclear arms race. I PIONEERED, in my first 12 days in office, a habit of making grandiloquent oratorial masterpieces, prefacing all my lines with “Yes, We Can”, and minor variations on that theme, as time progressed, along the lines of “Well, YES, I think we can”, “Hmm … Probably not”, “Wait theres still a chance we can”, “Maybe we STILL can”, “Its very unlikely we EVER can”, and most recently, “HAHA. No we can’t”.

In the past 12 days since I took over office from that yankee in the corner there (gestures to GW), I’ve met with and shaken hands with atleast 50 world tyrants and dictators. By year end, I hope to meet and extend the arm of peace and friendship to 200 more leaders around the world. This offer of shaking their hand is without precondition, and regardless of whether i might contract from or infect them with H3N5 or some other mutant flu virus. In case you’re still not convinced, in my spare time I’m also working on a Plan B to be the new Mother Teresa.

NC ( In hushed tones) : “Well, they all make impressive cases.”
“I’m confused” says one, “lets head over to the cliched hackneyed slogans round”, says another.

“Alright gentlemen, we’ve been informed by Alfred Nobel’s great grandson that the swimsuit round isnt permitted here, as watching Mr. Obama or Ms. Boyle sashaying the ramp in a 2-piece would be a horrific prospect,  one that would scar the world for life, make our viewers want to gouge their eyes out. So lets just proceed to the Ask-a-random-question-get-a-stupid-answer round. What would you say, should be the rallying cry for the world in this its hour of need”

DL : Save Tibet !
MJ : Save McCauley Culkin !
BO : I am NOT him (again, gesturing to a grinning George W arm wrestling a chimpanzee in the corner)

NOBEL COMMITTEE: (The guys swooning, ladies screaming hysterically, both flinging their shirts and blouses at him, throwing themselves at his broad muscular athletic frame) – “We LOVE you Barack ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ . Here’s your Nobel. Also, (blushing coyly) if you dont mind, can you autograph my face for me ?”

And there you have it. THE foolproof recipe for instant evaluation of Nobel peace prize nominees. The Nobel foundation released a press note, later in the day, clarifying that next year’s Nobel Peace Prize will be loosely based on American Idol, with one nominee bumped off every week, and the final decision being based on a public vote. So, Indians world over, grab your mobile phones, start SMSing your buddies, twittering all your twit friends, spreading the word on the streets, and blogging from now to kingdom come. Next year, our winner, making India proud WILL be (……….  wait for it …………..) Rakhee Sawant.

All things considered, Nobel Committee, I believe your decision was an admirable one, which defied popular sentiment, and lacked even a hint of rationale, and one that will have far reaching consequences. At the 2012 Olympics for example, India will finally be atop the medals table, striking paydirt in every event, winning Gold after spectacular gold, awarded to them for trying and wanting so bad to win. Shah Rukh Khan will finaly be allowed to enter the US without any demeaning security checks, and will carry on to be the K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-King of B(H)ollywood. Sarah Palin will become president in 2012, simply cause she REALLY WANTED it before, and was actually able to blow a kiss to Putin, over in Russia, all the way from Alaska, thereby ending the cold war. Now THERE’s an actual doomsday scenario that could signal the beginning of the end of the world in 2012, as predicted by a certain Roland Emmerich (whats that ? Sorry, I’ve just been told that the apocalypse was predicted by the Mayans, not Emmerich …………. Freaky how the Mayans knew of a certain Miss Palin way back then).

And I, for my part, will be riding a horse into the sunset. Y’know  …. the way they say “If wishes were horses, then fools would ride”.

Yes, in the fabled never-ending fight between good and evil, gay people are decidedly the worst people in the world, and straight people are the ones going straight up(pardon the pun) to the pearly gates of Heaven, to ride along with St. Peter in a golden chariot for all eternity.

I don’t know how I managed to put up with you for so long, and I bet you’re asking the same thing to yourself. But i guess YOU deserve some sort of Nobel peace prize or lifetime achievement award for handling the PJs, the wisecracks, the nutty remarks, the annoying habits of mine for so long What can i tell you about you that I havent said to you before ? Its been 4 years since it all began. 1461 days. A long time. Its felt longer for this past year and a half, being halfway across the world from you. A lot of people told me long distance relationships don’t work. WE proved them wrong huh ? IYou’ve been strong when I’m strong enough, and stronger when I’ve felt down and weak. You and I have been through a lot babe, and yet 4 years later we’re still the same crazy, nutty kids we were when we began. I can be me around you, cause you’re probably the ONLY one who hasn’t told me at some point “Raj …. grow up da”. I’ve heard that one from all sorts of people : family, friends, foes, strangers even …. but you’ve never told me that. Thank YOU for that You’ve changed a lot since we started this journey, but you’ve also stayed EXACTLY the same. A quiet girl with BIG dreams …. a tremendously talented achiever. And I love you for what you are now, what you used to be, and what you will be someday.

I wouldn’t go back and change anything or make our journey and our introduction to each other picture perfect. I’d leave it the way we began, cause the frustrated, failed, miserable journey I experienced till then helped me realize your worth when you came along. 4 years seem so long, but they’re a small instant compared to the lifetime thats lying ahead of us. We are definitely in for a rocky journey to get to the happy place in our lives, and people sure aren’t gonna make it any easier for us. But you should know, I’ll be holding your hand through every step of that pothole-ridden, bumpy road till we get on the smooth, easy highway.  I probably would be too old to blog then, so let me tell you know what I know i will say 50 years from now : I LOVE YOU.  I’m NUTS about you. And after all is said and done, YOU’RE STILL THE ONE. You’ll ALWAYS be.

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, ‘How do I know if I married the right person?’ I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, ‘It depends. Is that your husband?’ In all seriousness, she answered ‘How do you know?’

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it’s weighing on your mind.

Here’s the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse / partner . You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies (unconventional behavior/habit). Falling in love with your spouse wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s called ‘falling’ in love… Because it’s happening TO YOU .

People in love sometimes say, ‘I was swept of my feet.’ Think about the imagery of that __expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU. Falling in love is easy . It’s a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria (excitement) of love fades. It’s the natural cycle of EVERY relationship . Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies , instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, ‘Did I marry the right person?’ And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown . People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT’S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It’ll NEVER just happen to you. You can’t ‘find’ LASTING love. You have to ‘make’ it day in and day out. That’s why we have the __expression ‘the labor of love.’ Because it takes time, effort, and energy . And most importantly, it takes WISDOM . You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage. Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It’s a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable… you can ‘make’ love .

Love in marriage is indeed a ‘decision’… Not just a feeling.

Remember this always :

‘God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.’

Dr. John C Maxwell

http://www.johnmaxwell.com

In the tormented times we live in today, only love can conquer hate. One visionary song composed in 1971, by John Lennon speaks of a world with no possessions, no wars, no hate. ONLY LOVE. Watch his original song and follow along with the lyrics, and you can also dream of a world united by love, not torn by hate. Imagine, 37 years after this song, nothing has changed. Maybe the time is now, Maybe we are the ones who can start the beginning of the new world. “Its easy if you try ….”

Imagine there’s no heaven
It’s easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today…

Imagine there’s no countries
It isn’t hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace…

You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope someday you’ll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world…

You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope someday you’ll join us
And the world will live as one

]]> http://musingsofamadman.wordpress.com/2008/12/17/imagine/feed/ 0 musingsofamadman http://musingsofamadman.wordpress.com/2008/12/14/support-wikipedia/ http://musingsofamadman.wordpress.com/2008/12/14/support-wikipedia/#comments Sun, 14 Dec 2008 07:04:29 +0000 musingsofamadman http://musingsofamadman.wordpress.com/?p=358 ]]>

We all have used Wikipedia at some point or the other in our lives. Academics, work related research, plain ol’ fun trying to wiki who the heck Henry the VIII was. Heres your chance to donate, and give back to Wiki. Click the button to be redirected to the Wikipedia page, where you can donate as much as you want to this noble cause, of providing all the world’s information at a single location. FOR FREE.

• Surely didn’t do a Masters in Science in Security Informatics at Johns Hopkins.
• Never ever experienced the delicious spread at innumerable potlucks all over the place
• Never started an assignment at 2:00 AM for a submission later the same day.
• Never ever tried pressing all the buttons on the elevator from 1 to 6 just to bug the friends riding with him.
• Did not work at Johns Hopkins CTY at some point in his Masters life.
• Definitely didn’t stay up for 36 hours at a stretch one time.
• Never ever went up to his professor or TA asking for more marks which he claimed he “deserved”
• Did not live on a staple diet of MAGGI (This is wat us INDIANs call wat you Americans refer to as “Ramen”)
• Did NOT stay up multi-tasking between a project, an exam submission and a homework.
• For sure did NOT take Theoretical Cryptography.
• Never really experienced HAPPY HOUR in the truest sense of the word.
• Did not eat a minimum of 1 meal a day at Chipotle, Subway or Silk Road cafe
• Never ever had to endure the pain of having buttons 7, 8, and 9 on the elevator pressed as revenge
• Never ever experienced the sheer bliss of free food events. Lunch/Midnight breakfast/Dinner. Wherever, Whenever.
• DID NOT use the JHU escort van for a free ride, everywhere from Carlyle to Punjab to Giant to Rotunda to Happy Hour.
• Definitely cannot understand what a 4+4+2 or 5+5+0 meant
• Did NOT take the HIPAA course, sit through the monotony of Prof. James Hodge and live to tell the tale.
• Never flipped between Facebook & Gmail & YahooMail! & Orkut & JHU Mail every 5 seconds for updates.
• Did not watch 7713 videos on Youtube starting March 2008. (Yeah, you heard it right !!!)
• Surely does not know wat Stana Card, or Rebtel mean (FYI – its a long distance International calling card)
• Seriously  cannot claim to have done close to 80% of coursework with the same partner Wich was so freaking awesome fun
• Never ever got so interested in politics as he did during his Masters. Oh the memories !
• Never tried his hand at playing MAFIA. And LOST. MISERABLY.
• Never EVER had the enjoyment of reading blonde jokes of all varieties with his project partner, while doing a Forensics project.
• Never heard a certain professor talk about pornography in a certain class of the Computer Forensics kind.
• Definitely DID NOT sit in Java Security class n exchange sleepy looks and PATHETIC jokes over chat with aforementioned project partner.
• Never attended career fairs SIMPLY to load up on the free T-shirts, key chains, bottles, pens and Rubiks cubes.
• Never had the chance to go up to Mountain View, CA, and interview with a certain company called G.O.O.G.L.E.
• Definitely DID NOT get an A in the final project of his Masters program.
• Never enjoyed the pure essence of being in college. AGAIN.

The person who famously quipped “You can’t have your cake, and eat it too” definitely hasn’t been on one of them rollercoasters of life, aptly termed the Masters. I say aptly termed, because when u get done with your Masters, you really feel you’ve MASTERed an insurmountable peak. You’ve evaded an avalanche of giant rocks thrown at you at the same time from all different directions. You see, finishing a MASTERS isn’t one of those experiences you simply savour and then forget. Its one of those you truly cherish. And i mean, REEEEEEEEEEEALLLLY  cherish.I can honestly say with total and utter confidence that, I will always remember THIS DAY, 11th December 2008 as the HAPPIEST of my life till my wedding day. The entire spectrum of emotions sweeping over me,  I cannot even begin to explain. Suffice it to say : “You’ve reached Rajiv Mathew’s voice mail service. I am curently flying higher right now than anyone can reach. Please leave your name, a number and a message after the beep. BEEEEEP !! “

Today, having just got my final grade, and now officially DONE with my Masters, I can turn to that guy and say ….. “DUDE. I had my cake for a year and a half. And today, I’m eating it too. Not just ANY cake, but a devil’s food chocolate cake, loaded with chocolate chips, enveloped in a CREAMY white icing, topped with Wild strawberries and a can full of whipped cream, with a thick slab of PURE dark chocolate and a SOLITARY CHERRY ON TOP ………… WANNA TRY SOME ??? “.

Another barbaric attack ….. another few disillusioned young men drawn into and brainwashed into terrorism, to savage a country and hold it to ransom for 60 hours. Another hundred or two hundred lives snatched away in an instant. Yet at the end of it all, how far have we come. Since the last attack on Mumbai, that bustling epitome of India’s spirit, the instinct to survive and move on with your life, how much has changed in the way we have looked at our own security. The politician’s perspective certainly hasnt changed. He still prowls around the area, waiting for the opportune moment to pounce on a city ravaged with war, terror and attacks on its innocence. And come election time, no matter what the previous government did, the incumbent is made to look like a terrorist, with mud slinging matches waged with such ferocity and passion.

The politician’s point of view hasn’t changed one bit in those 2 years that have gone by, purely because he hasn’t lost a close member of his family. He still drives around the city when and where he pleases, with his Z-level security, attending the occasional session of Parliament, storming the well of the house (Lok or Rajya Sabha), demanding adjournement for the days proceedings, throwing that tantrum long enough for the speaker to adjourn the session. A nice leisurely stroll outside Parliament lawns, and back again that afternoon for another stalled session of parliament, held up by another moron, armed with the most trivial of reasons to postpone the parliament session till the next day. All done for the day, and its back to the free airline ride back home in business class, and all the other perks. If there’s one thing our politicians haven’t realized till today, it’s that they are reponsible for the security of India. Yes, INDIA. NOT Mumbai, NOT Chennai, NOT Hyderabad, NOT Delhi. FOR INDIA. For the security of its people, and to uphold the sovereignty of the country, that has been entrusted into their not-so-able hands. Death hasn’t hit them as close as it has hit us, hit our friends and their families, hit our own loved ones. Which is why they still walk around with the audacity to tell us we’re safe when clearly we are not.

When a boat loaded with armed youth docks near Colaba to offload a few young men, with satchels on their shoulders, everybody shrugs, pays little heed, and walks on. Not one suspicious look here or there. Thats cause we’ve been exposed to so much in our lifetime, that when we see obvious hints before us, we often fail to see them. What was the Coast Guard doing at the time. Shouldn’t every single boat/ship/cruise liner entering the maritime border be subjected to the most intense scrutiny and security check? Its easy to say this in retrospect, once you know where they come from. How much easier should it have been then, for politicians to stop their bickering for once, and realize the threat before it struck in such horrific fashion. POTA came into effect in 2002. In the intervening 6 years, how many terrorists have been detained under this law, found guilty and been sentenced to death or life imprisonment ? Easy. Barely a handful. Contrast this with the number of politicians who’ve used and abused this for their whims and politican mileage. Vaiko, an inconsequential player in Indian politics, is symbolic of this problem. Pass a law into effect, and the loopholes in it get used by every singe politician. Compare this with the USA. As those of you who know me will agree, I’m not among the biggest fans of the USA. The one attack that was perpetrated on their soil was 9/11 and their reaction was so swift, so hard, it crushed the forces of terror that carried out those crimes. In the past 7 years, NOT ONE single attack has been carried out on US soil since. This isn’t to imply that the USA is suddenly a safe haven in the midst of global terror. It’s just the way they have responded. They’ve got into the mindset of that terrorist, and acted swiftly and with force. Contrast this reaction with that of the Indian government.

Look at this video, and tell me how much confidence you got in the government and their capability to handle the situation, by hearing Mr. Manmohan Singh talk here. NONE. In all honesty, it looks like the PM was reading his message off a teleprompter as is so often the case, NOT speaking TO the Indian populace from his heart, from a strong conviction that the perpetrators of this crime would not be let free that easily. In all honesty, if you want visible proof of the last vestiges of Manmohan Singh’s manhood, you could probably find them floating in a bottle of formaldehyde, on Sonia Gandhi’s desk. Truth is, the man lost all trace of his manhood the second he got installed as the puppet Prime Minister by Sonia Gandhi. The man has POSITIVELY NO SENSE of how to lead a country. For those who disagree, let me remind you here is the man, the self same man who was our leader when Mumbai got attacked in 2006. There again, he promised to find the terrorists and hunt them down. Whats changed. The answer? NOTHING. Nothing has changed cause this government, as others before it, believes in patching up the system, not overhauling it in its entirety. Nothing has changed because apart from talking, this government has done absolutely nothing, to ensure such terrorists are nabbed. Life simply goes on, the politicians make their stump speech about the Spirit of Mumbai, among other cliched terms, to stir up strong emotions within us, to inspire some hope, then pray really hard that the citizens forget the trauma, and that life goes back to normal.

Today, the government will react, I’m sure, by deciding to pass a law to secure the water boundaries all around its perimeter. Too little, too late. In the land of us blinded by rage, the one eyed man has convinced us that we are indeed blind, and that they know the path to safety. To them, i say ENOUGH. ENOUGH of your abuse of power. ENOUGH of trivial words like loss, unity, patriotism, anger that you bandy around in moments like these. ENOUGH of old men, past their 60s, 70s and possibly 80s, running their country, like a record player stuck on the same discordant note. ENOUGH of petty bullshit like Mr. Manmohan Singh, Jaswant Singh, and L K Advani bickering on whether or not to fly in the same airplane side by side, while the paratroopers, the NSG are forced to wait 15 hours. 15 BLOODY HOURS. And ultimately take a ride on Delhi BestBus to get to Mumbai. If you leaders can’t coexist, why are you in power in the 1st place. it is US, the imbeciles, the fools who vote you into power every single time and are made to feel like bigger fools with every immature, reckless and political statement you make. Imagine the leader of a country, supposed to be a minority leader, for whom it is too low or demeaning to fly with the opposition leader. For whom his ego needs to be massaged in the midst of a national crisis. What kind of IMPOTENT wimp of a leader of a nation is this. No wonder we are the constant target of terror strikes on such a scale.

Dawood Ibrahim must be sitting in Pakistan now amazed beyond his wildest imagination at the ease with which he was able to carry off this entire mission. Yet we’re the ones left grappling and trying to come to terms with this monumental loss of life. The first step we can take as a nation is not to play the blame game. Thats the prerogative of the government, and thats something they are specialized at. I was rather amused to hear this piece of analysis from one of the experts, on one of the leading news channels. He said “I dont think the government itself knows the meaning of intelligence, and I’m talking about a different kind of intelligence here”. When a government deliberately ignores intelligence reports indicating a major strike on the country, some heads must roll. But apart from the traditional rolling of heads, concrete steps must be taken to ensure this kind of idiocy, foolish ineptitude is never witnessed again, not by our generation, and for sure not by our children. Government at the highest level needs to be purged of the officials who do nothing. We’re sick of words. We want deeds to back up those empty hollow words.

More than anything else, this incident should be the wake-up call for the rest of us. Never before in terrorist history has the entire event played out before our very eyes. 60 hours of non-stop coverage of the event, almost turned the lives of Mumbaikars into reality TV beamed into our living rooms. By taking it lying down all these years, we’ve emboldened the terrorist organizations worldwide to attack us. 2 years back, they used bombs planted in crowded suburban trains. Today, they walked into our bus terminals, our homes and hotels in a city we are proud to call ours, and opened fire with the confidence that comes only from foolishness or the confidence that comes from a feeling of invincibility. I suspect it is the latter. Today they took our hotels hostage, tomorrow it could very well be our homes. We aren’t safe in our homes anymore, and this wake up call has sounded way too close for us to ignore any longer. Our entire political system needs upheaval, and the government should be held responsible for its actions (more so, the lack of any).

Above all else, here is a message to the government. STOP taking the SPIRIT of this great country for granted. Every single time we have been held to ransom by terrorist forces, Mumbai has stood tall as a beacon of strength, a symbol of perseverance through personal loss and bereavement. People have woken up the next day and taken the same metro train that was blown to bits the day before. That comes from an inner resolve, a strength that goes beyond human fortitude. It has come from the belief that we are strong enough to make it through anything. But this crisis has shown us that we are all too mortal.

But here’s my one SINGULAR message to the political hierarchy in Delhi, Mumbai and our country in general. Today you were lucky to survive. Tomorrow it could strike closer home to YOU. That could be YOUR family in the Taj or some other posh locale. Even an iron-clad spirit can break. the most strong-willed resolve can crack. Don’t wait for us to crack. Be the support we need to hold us up. STOP TAKING THE SPIRIT OF MUMBAI FOR GRANTED. JUST AS YOU SHOULD STOP TAKING YOUR COUNTRY FOR GRANTED. The spirit of this glorious nation is in the courage of its brave people. It not some untapped resource for you to use at ur whims to explain away all your failings. We’ve been blind to your ineptitude till now, and you have convinced us all along that you knew better. We’ve got our own eyes opened now, and we’ve got them focussed squarely on you.

At the heart of this issue is a persistent nagging question that has been eating at me for a while now. Besides the value of our lives, which I’m sure is a question that has haunted us at some point of time, it also brings into strong focus the futility of religion, of marriage as an arranged event, of a man and woman being united in holy matrimony, till “death do us part”. Lets face it, we live in a time in history which accords no value to dignity of life, to the sacrosanct nature of marriage. Marriage after marriage ends up in divorce, bitterness, or suppressed hidden failed marriages, or in the most extreme cases, they lead to people getting killed. The very woman Joseph M. Pallipurath promised on his wedding day to “have and to hold, in sickness and in health….” was the target of his inhuman, brutal revenge flooded mind. He was so blinded by rage, he walked in and shot her point blank, then walked out and drove away. He didn’t care that she was the mother of his children, that she was the love of his life, at some earlier point, or that her life mattered to others, that she was someone’s daughter, or sister, or niece.

Marriage, from my eyes, represents the love between 2 people (man & woman, man & man, woman & woman  that’s your decision to make), who through a process over time, have realized that they represent a crucial missing link in each others life, which only they can fill. I have been in love but once, and I love her with all my heart. It pains me to see myself part of a larger world, where marriage is often, a means to dowry haggling, greed, strife and needless fighting between families. What have we become, when statistics show that over 50% of marriages end in divorce. When a man cannot stop being a mamma’s boy, yet ends up marrying by force, or to keep his parents happy. When the same man who promised to love and stand by her, and protecting her from all the evils in this world, ends up being the very pitch black out there she sought protection from. When a man who marries a woman, chooses to leave her within the 1st year of their marriage, for reasons only he knows. A man ought to be ashamed of calling himself a man, if he isn’t grown up enough to respect and love his wife, and be with her in her pregnancy, if he doesn’t care enough to see her in the hospital, or even bother to turn up for his son’s baptism. To this man, I say, If the only purpose of you marrying was to carry on your lineage, or your family name, you should have adopted an orphan. Then again, given your immaturity levels, and clinginess to your mother, you probably should have abstained from marriage altogether. By marrying to keep your mother happy, YOU, a moron with no sensitivity to the life of a girl, chose to enter into a loveless marriage, while all the time convincing her you loved her. You are lower than scum, than fungus, and if you’re out here reading this article, you know THIS IS YOU. You deserve no place on Gods green earth, and i despise you more than anything in the world for ruining the life of someone I care so much about and love.

Marriage, for our parents, was about marrying a person their parents thought was right for them, and had arranged and alliance with. It worked in their case, and their generation lived to tell us the same story, and to convince us that parents are the right ones to choose your life partner. Marriage today is disturbingly gravitating towards the bizarre, the ridiculous, and in extreme cases, as in the New Jersey church shooting, deadly dangerous. When I see things like this happen, at that moment, I forget everything else on my plate, the project due in less than 4 weeks, the job hunting, the other things in my life at the moment. Because, being in love, I know what it feels like to have someone hang on every single word of yours, to have someone who trusts you so inherently and love you to the core. I am lucky to have that, and maybe you (reading this) are too. Maybe you are in love, maybe you aren’t. For those in a relationship, this is a word of advice. Do not do this to  (a) Pass on your family name or have a child (b) To please your parents (c) To show society you’re not a failure. If you’re doing it for any of these reasons, this article was probably meant for you. You need to re-assess your priorities and purposes in being married right now. Don’t use marriage as a crutch to achieve your selfish objectives from it, and cast your spouse aside like trash. I don’t care if you’re man or woman, whoever you are, you have no right to ruin another person’s life.

Besides this one case i recounted, I have recently come to discover an animal side to another person I thought I knew. Always with a smile on his face, with an ever cheerful persona, little did i know of the character that lay beneath. A guy who can’t be responsible enough to manage his finances, to support his wife, who can’t even save enough money from his salary for their newborn child’s future. A man who lives with his in-laws instead of taking care of his wife, and hides behind his parents protective shield, as though he were still a child in diapers, rather than a married “responsible” man. When i observe such instances from such close quarters, I have all too often made myself a solemn promise not to repeat the same mistakes i see. Being only human, I have obviously failed too at times, and have been found wanting in implementing these thoughts. But let me put a word out there for all of you seriously considering marriage, or those already in it. Marriage is mutual, its sharing of love, life, and a little one, of respecting and loving your family and hers. Not letting things simmer till they reach boiling point, then reaching for your divorce lawyer’s phone number in the speed dial, or reaching for the gun in your pocket.

In a deeper sense, we may have become numb to these incidents given their alarming regularity in societies across the world today. Each day we see something new about a man killing his wife, a wife abusing her husband or vice versa, and we let it go and turn instead to the sports or comic section to get away from having to face up to the harsh reality. Truth is, as a collective species, its high time we realized that Darwin was indeed right about evolution. We have stepped back in reverse gear though, and each coming generation will be more and more de-humanized and more and more  automaton, unfeeling and void of emotion. As a collective race, its high time we stop ourselves from sinking into the process of reverse evolution, from turning ourselves into bitter, selfish and cynical human beings with no respect for human life. The sooner we realize and take a step backward from the filth that surrounds us. Man or woman alike, we all deserve happiness, and in making decisions that affect the happiness of other people, we should stop for a second, and think again. Life, specially another’s, is meant to be treasured and nurtured. Not torn down in one fell swoop. And if you feel you can’t nurture or love or care, ATLEAST don’t hurt, or kill, or tear down their world.

Love, and marriage defined by today’s standards, is bound by the heavy chains of same-caste, same-religion, with any deviance forbidden, and strictly frowned upon by society. To people who do this, and to parents who are adamant that their children marry only within their religion, and not “defile” their family, by marrying outside their self-imposed boundaries of religion, I ask, Whats more important. To ensure you marry within your caste ? Or to ensure that whatever the caste of your son/daughter’s spouse-to-be, they love your child more than anything, and will do anything to keep them safe and happy. If your answer is the former, you have some serious thinking to do. If, however, you’re in the latter category, then you know you’re doing right by your progeny, than doing right by society and its churlish norms and rules. Agreed, there is no guarantee that marriages borne of love, last longer than those arranged and set up by parents. Neither is there cold, hard fact to show that a Hindu-Christian marriage would last longer than a Hindu-Hindu marriage or a Christian-Christian one. However, atleast be open minded enough to acknowledge that a sincere Hindu/Muslim/Sikh/Jain/Buddhist/Jewish girl loves your son as much as a Christian girl would have. In making that acknowledgement, you subconsciously tear down the boundaries of mistrust, and foster in its place trust filled relationships with the people you love, than forge meaningless, loveless marriages that end up bringing into the world a child born out of necessity than true love.

We’ve all seen loveless marriages and relationships of convenience among friends, family or relatives. Dont bother about what society thinks. Make a promise HERE and NOW,  that YOU won’t ever be a part of one.